A thousand year has passed, guess my mind has rusted out of staying in this terribly busy city. Running out of time and interest, my life has a huge turn-to-left sign. I mean, everybody does anyway, leaving a comfortable life you used to. Fighting is a good thing, but frankly speaking, it is extremely tiring. Great thing about life is, I am still breathing, appreciate it.
Mind blew when I first came here, a total different culture and attitude of citizens are carrying, made a big shock to me. Know what? I was almost collapse. Anyway went through a lot of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" incidents and I managed to survive for as long here. When people intends to bring you down, be tough and show them who you are as a lone ranger. (I wish you were here)
Started a new life in this big city, I had to make a hard choice, a hard decision, in which I struggled in between "brain and heart", a war, a world war inside. How to choose? I wouldn't want to give up on you, you know that. You know that aren't you? So I tried my best to pull us closer, I did anything possible, anything I could. All because I was still believing that nothing could separate us as long as we hold each other tightly, but distance proved I was wrong, totally wrong from the beginning. And I kept fighting, fighting alone when you didn't, I was tired but I wouldn't give up, hope and prayers are my weapons. Well, a "ha-ha-ha..." for myself, I should had laughed at silly me. At this moment, I don't know if it has come to the end, I am tired spiritually, heart gets colder when we were disappointed again and again. Fuck retarded love, fuck relation'shit'.
And now I have to make the choice, to choose if I should stay or to go away, I guess time will give me an accurate answer, maybe. And they said, if two persons are meant to be together, they will no matter how long, a life time perhaps? Or else, I will just keep my heart inside the jar, not to be found not to be realized, learn to live half a life, alone, alone, and chilling soul icy cold.
Round a round, we came to like how we were at the beginning, strangers. I wished I didn't even know you, maybe I could survive better in the loneliness, with a job, and a dog, in the city, and the night that never sleeps.
Ow, it is raining out there, it is like lavender falling from the grey sky, crystal clear lavender I could smell the blueness in the air. Ahh, a cup of hot tea I should, join me?
